


Double Date

by sonofthanatos



Category: South Park
Genre: Double Dating, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 20:47:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16940439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonofthanatos/pseuds/sonofthanatos
Summary: Tweek and Craig get to meet Clyde's new girlfriend!I saw somebody on tumblr talking about Clyde/Henrietta and I fell in love with the idea and wanted to play with it a bit.





	Double Date

It was nice for Tweek and Craig to not be the subject of everybody’s staring for once. As one of the only openly gay couples in South Park, they had always been the subject of curiosity; people were supportive of them, but that didn’t change the fact that two boys dating was a far from common sight around South Park. More than one date night had been ruined when they realized that everybody in the restaurant or theater had turned and was watching them.

Tonight they had a better and far more original show to watch.

Clyde bounded in like a puppy, his face lighting up when he saw them. A moment later a shorter figure stepped around him; you could almost hear the record screech as she walked forward.

Henrietta almost glided as she walked, as though making the effort to move her legs was too conformist. Her long black dress flowed around her like a liquid, a large silver cross dangling from her neck and drawing attention away from the mesh shoulders. Bare arms led to her fingerless gloves and the (thankfully unlit) cigarette holder in her surprisingly delicate hands. Her short dark hair somehow added an air of elegance; she was overweight but rather than trying to hide it owned it completely. She looked as regal as the Queen of England. Her dark eyes landed on them; she didn’t say anything as she strode towards them but there was an air of indifference and judgement in her face. She slid calmly into the seat across from Tweek, Clyde cheerfully sitting next to her.

“Hey guys!” He chirped happily. Henrietta raised her eyebrow and studied them; Craig determinedly met her gaze.

“Hello conformists.” Her voice was flat and uninterested.

Well, two could play at that game. “Henrietta.” Craig kept his voice just as flat.

Tweek and Clyde faltered, studying the two anxiously.  Tweek hesitated, then dove in. “Hi Henrietta! Do you and your friends come here a lot?”

She glanced at him. Her stony face seemed to soften slightly. “Not usually. Normally we hang out at the Village Inn. The coffee is better there.” She glanced at the mug in Tweek’s hands. “We come here later at night when the Inn is closed or if we want actual food.”

Tweek’s eyes seemed to light up at the mention of coffee. “I know what you mean! I’m always trying to get stronger coffee at my parents place. Do you make your own?”

“Of course.” Henrietta played with her cigarette holder. “I have my own recipe, but I need to deal with my parents to make it so it’s not worth it.”

“Your own recipe?” Tweek almost leapt across the table in his excitement. “I have my own recipe too! I love experimenting with coffee!”

Something almost like a smile crossed her face for the briefest instant. “We’ll have to try each other’s sometime.”

Craig wasn’t sure what to think. On the one hand she was colder than ice and came off as really stuck up; on the other hand, she was really trying with Tweek, and he automatically liked anybody who made Tweek happy. He had no idea what Clyde saw in her.

He was saved by the arrival of the waitress.

After they ordered, she excused herself for a cigarette. Craig hesitated, then made up his mind and went after her, ignoring the surprised looks Tweek and Clyde gave him.

She stood next to the ashtray outside. Her eyebrows raised as he walked over to her.

Craig didn’t waste any time. “What are you doing?”

“Smoking.” The _you idiot_ was heavily implied.

“You know what I mean. Clyde is as far from Goth as you can get; he’s emotional, silly, and happy. I swear, if this is some stupid plan to hurt him in the name of ‘non-conformity’ I’ll hurt you in ways you can’t even imagine.”

“Don’t threaten a Goth, little boy. I’ve done things that would make you run screaming into the night and have darker thoughts than you dare dream.” She put her cigarette back to her lips. Craig was almost impressed by her utter fearlessness. She blew a smoke ring, then continued. “I like Clyde. I think he’s cute and funny. He knows he’ll never understand me, but he embraces my darkness and accepts me as I am. That’s rare from boys. I would have thought you of all people could understand that.”

Craig’s eyes narrowed. “Me of all people?”

She blew another smoke ring. “You act like don’t give a fuck. You pretend to be this emotionless robot who couldn’t care less about people, but you’re dating a cute, anxious and bubbly guy like Tweek and you obviously care a lot about ‘emotional, silly, and happy’ Clyde. Is it because you don’t care enough to change friends or is it because you’ve found people who accept you as you are, don’t expect you to change for them, and love you anyways?”

Craig was totally floored. One meeting and she had seen right through him.

She sighed. “Look, I’m not out to hurt your friend. I like Clyde, OK? Don’t ask me to explain why but I have fun with him.”

Craig nodded. “Good.”

A slight smile touched her lips again. “It’s funny, isn’t it? You would think you and I would go well together, and so would Clyde and Tweek. It’s so non-conformist to do it this way.”

Craig rewarded her with a slight smile of his own. “Thank you for being nice to Tweek. I know that took a lot of effort for you.”

“I’m a bitch, not a monster. I’m not going to hurt somebody who can’t take it.”

She put out her cigarette and they went back inside.

Tweek and Clyde looked anxiously at them. Henrietta, to their surprise, took Clyde’s hand in hers. Craig wrapped an arm around Tweek.

The rest of the date went well. Henrietta shared some stories about the Goths, and Craig was happy to see that she kept glancing at Tweek and editing them to make them less scary when he was getting nervous. Clyde was beaming, obviously thrilled that they were all getting along.

Both Tweek and Craig were very surprised that Clyde could make her laugh. As he told her stories about his adventures with his friends she giggled hysterically; they would have bet their relationship that she didn't know how. They also noticed how her usual icy tone softened when she talked to Clyde and that she actually made an effort to get involved with his stories. Craig felt a sudden relief that she seemed to instinctively know how to handle Clyde; he loved the guy to pieces but he definitely needed adult supervision. Clyde, in turn, seemed honestly curious when he asked Henrietta about Goth culture, and she honest-to-god _blushed_ when he asked if she would read some Edgar Allan Poe to him. They were an odd couple, but for reasons beyond mortal understanding they somehow worked.

 

 

At the end of the night, Clyde walked Henrietta to her door, ignoring her protests that “It’s such a lame conformist thing to do!” He smiled shyly and turned to go.

To his surprise, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in tight. “Were you planning to leave without kissing me?” She breathed.

Clyde grinned widely and wiggled his eyebrows. “I thought that might be too ‘conformist’ for you.”

She kissed him hard. “Fuck the conformists.”


End file.
